IMR: Author: Evil

Human (but Black Hearted)

[ Evil Meter ]
evilgood

Good for you, you're human. We all have evil thoughts, and you may have acted on a few of yours, but you're probably okay traveling through Buffy's turf. Or maybe you're an aspiring evil person and you've never given yourself a real chance. Go ahead and forgive yourself for the mean-spirited — but ultimately harmless — pranks you pulled in grade school. Whispering behind your co-workers' backs won't flood you with bad karma. And we've all held out for ourselves in the throes of passion a time or two. So keep listening to that conscience of yours, but don't worry about tuning it out every so often. Keep reading for more evil details!

[ Evil Meter ]
not sexually evilsexually evil

In the bedroom, you don't have an evil bone in your body — well maybe one, but ... aw, never mind. The moral lessons you learned as a child really stuck — we have a sneaking suspicion you're still haunted by the ghost of your parents' first sex lecture ("Heavy petting won't make you popular"). In bed, you're as generous as they come — you always put your partner's needs ahead of yours. And your bedroom is a sacred temple. Overall, you're an enlightened sexual wonder. Just remember, it's okay to go nuts on your birthday.

[ Evil Meter ]
not passive aggressivepassive aggressive

Don't feel too bad about hiding your anger. At least, not right now. When your spleen ruptures from internalized stress, then you can feel bad about it. Passive people act that way because they're ultimately sweet and don't want to upset anyone. While that may work for the short term, you end up looking like a real back-stabber when you, ah, stab someone in the back. Try to deal with your problems up front, and you probably won't have to renew your concealed weapons permit this year.

In the bedroom, you don't have an evil bone in your body — well maybe one, but ... aw, never mind. The moral lessons you learned as a child really stuck — we have a sneaking suspicion you're still haunted by the ghost of your parents' first sex lecture ("Heavy petting won't make you popular"). In bed, you're as generous as they come — you always put your partner's needs ahead of yours. And your bedroom is a sacred temple. Overall, you're an enlightened sexual wonder. Just remember, it's okay to go nuts on your birthday.

[ Evil Meter ]
not black heartedblack hearted

Ooo hoo — you're one evil muther. Your heart is blacker than Darth Vader's helmet. For goodness' sake, next time think about that old lady's feelings before you push her down the escalator. And, really — you know as well as anyone that dropping kitties out the window to see if they can land on their feet is just an excuse to act evil. Yes, it's all part of being a free spirit who doesn't answer to anyone. Right or wrong, it's a fun way to live. But be careful — it all comes full-circle in the end.

How Evil Are You?


© Ryan Kawailani Ozawa · E-Mail: ozawa@hawaii.edu · Created: 19 November 2001 · Last Modified: 19 November 2001